Here's a story I told that has turned into a blog - that's how I like to do it now. The backdrop to the is a house in Denver that I'd been couchsurfing in for a month. This one had an especially interesting mix of male roommates... though some more than others. I hung out mostly with a guy named Paul. He's my age, has a degree in psych, loves listening/playing music, and works at a halfway house with a bunch of mentally unstable juvenile delinquents. He's pretty great... neurotic and passionate about whatever. He was one of those super alienated, depressed, punks who hated everything and most people when he was a teen. We went to a horrendous "singing Shabbat" service once - it was just like church... singing and dancing with the rabbi offering really dumb anecdotes in between. Paul's to roommate is a guy named Adam, a 27 year old woodsman who grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family (but has since fallen) and now teaches ESL. We went out to the woods a few times together and it was always great. He gave me a fishing pole and helped me buy some tackle, so now I spend a lot of time trying to suck more fishing knowledge out of him. He's one of the more stand up guys I've ever met, but what clued me in to his character was how he interacts with Tola.

Tola's real name is Brent, but someone started calling him Tola a few years back and it stuck. Tola doesn't seem to give a fuck about anything... he's the probably closest thing to a nihilist that I've ever seen in the wild. He's a skinny 21 year old kid, so even if he just has a beer every hour, he stays pretty drunk. When he's not drinking beer, he's drinking chocolate milk or soda. He doesn't drink water or eat fruits/vegetables. He once saw Adam holding an avocado and asked, "Are you really going to eat that moldy, misshapen orange?" Despite this terribly unhealthy intake, I've witnessed him working all day shoveling rocks in the sun or hiking a twelve mile trail without problems... in short, he's a tough little guy.

The first time I met him he had his shirt off and I noticed a huge raised scar in the shape of a "T" on his chest. The story goes that he got real drunk one night and let some girl brand him with a white hot butter knife. That thing is never going away, but because he's Tola, he doesn't really care. It itches and burns sometimes (as massive keloids scars tend to), so he's always stroking it... I equate this more with Harry Potter's forehead than Superman's chest, but the illustrations overlap into something strongly mythological. You'd think a person like this would be a danger to himself and others, but I don't really think he is. Yes, sometimes he lights things on fire inside houses, drives recklessly without his glasses, and talks shit to service employees that are bigger than him, but so far, so good. Part of the reason he stays out of trouble is that Adam looks out for him. They have one of the closest relationships I've ever seen between heterosexual men.

This doesn't make sense at first because Adam is pretty literary guy with damn strong moral fiber. Tola barely reads, can't write for shit, and makes dirty jokes about everything (and I do mean everything). I don't know why they get along so well, but they see something in each other that they really like. Adam once told me that he trusts my character judgments because I didn't write Tola off the first time I met him, like a lot of other people do. The kid is just witty - he has a fairly sharp mind that he uses in ways that often just aren't considered socially appropriate. He's also a self taught musician and can freestyle some really catchy little songs. Sure, he uses too many Boratisms, but who his doesn't these days? I like Tola because he just isn't a normal dude, he's simply more interesting.

However, the thing that really sold me on Tola is that he invented a new set of usages for the word "stallion" that I absolutely love. OK, so who cares, right? Well, I've spent a good amount of time pondering over the peculiar staying power of certain slang, so I think I have some background in declaring this to be important. 'Cool" has been the dominant linguistic feature of pop culture in America (and internationally) for a least half a century. Nothing else even comes close. I tried to make this point to some really dumb college girls a few week back and they sneered at this point, saying "It's so totally not 'chill' to say 'cool' anymore." Sure, kids are idiots, but I can't let that kind of thing pass. I tried explaining to them that they were merely using "chill" as a replacement for "cool" and that once the phase of while kids using old school hip hop signifiers like "fresh" and "dope" had lost their nostalgic cache, they'd be right back to using "cool" again. I'm not much into cultural studies, but I remember when we started using those three words - it was five years ago - that's how far back their cultural memory stretches... they probably don't much recall the preceding products of surf culture - "awesome" and "radical".

So, why am I impressed by Tola's use of "stallion"? It's partially because I know the person who invented it - really, he did, I've been fact checking. Have you ever met someone who invented something that could become legendary pop culture material? Fine, maybe you don't buy that claim yet yet, so I'll break it down into a dictionary style explanation so you can understand how intuitive it's usage can be.

The traditional definition goes as follows: "A stallion is an uncastrated male horse, generally retired from racing, that is considered a fine enough specimen to be used for breeding purposes." From a man's perspective, this has a trinity of positive connotations: strength, success, and sexuality. A stallion is a stud. Now, here's some of the ways in which one might use the word in the context of fishing. Adjective: "That's a stallion rod you've got there." Verb: "You've got to keep fighting and stallion through it." Command: "Pull on your panties and stallion up!" Noun: "That last fish was a real stallion." Adverb: "I'm surprised you reeled that big one in so stallionly." Rejoinder: "Stallion!"

Tola has mastered its use, which really helped sell it and get me to consider its viral possibilities. I want to make a video of him using it in public situations and put it online. Tola once had an entire interaction with a grocery store clerk using only the word "stallion" in different intonations. Just try to imagine the dialogue... it's stunning. Is it genius? I won't go that far, but I will say the following: You've really got to be thinking (living) outside the box to hatch innovative stuff like this. There's no reason to do it - there aren't going to be any formal rewards, but it is important that someone do it.

We can't just keep saying cool forever, dammit. White kids shouldn't have to feel guilty for appropriating other peoples' subcultural slang. The fact that some weird western kid invented "stallion" instead of a gangsta rapper makes me smile. If it never catches on with the masses... oh well. Maybe it will at least make it among his peers and cultural community. It's the kind of innovation that I'm happy enough to have just been exposed to... heck, I'll still use it if no one else does... and people will think I'm unique for it. And now I won't feel bad about that, because I've given credit where credit is due.